Social Justice Flower

Anger… an emotion that sends a rush of hatred through my veins, causes my breath to quicken, my fists to ball up and strike whatever is closest to me, in an effort to release the feeling. Anger is a cover up emotion and for me, it’s a blanket to hide my pain from the world and from myself.

He hurt me. Physically, emotionally, verbally, psychologically… He ruined friendships, my school performance, and my ability to maintain a stable mind set. My mental health was destroyed because of him. His abuse and torture withered me down to the bones. My soul fled my body, my sanity had retreated in a dark corner and my mind was spinning and confused. He sucked me dry of hope and I watched it all drain out of my eyes… My expectations of love were shattered like glass. I thought I deserved him, but the only thing I deserved was the life I tried to end shortly before we were cut off from each other. I was emptied out of everything good in my life, and thought he was the only thing left, but he was the only thing that I should have left.

He might have damaged me, violated my body, drained my hope, crushed my sanity, but he did not ruin me as a whole person. He does not hold enough power to bury me beyond recovery. I escaped the abuse, so I will survive the recovery. It might take me 25 years to become the new person I am meant to be, but every day, every second, away from him, is a victory in the long run. I might have parts of me that will always be corrupted by him, but as a whole, I am not corrupted. I am growing into the flower I meant to be. I was buried, but as a seed, I grew out of the dirt and saw the sun. I grew into an unstoppable woman. I took my horrors and turned them into fuel to fire up my passions for social justice.