Sharing your survivor story is one one to give other survivors hope and courage to use their voice to share their stories too. So today, I’ll be sharing mine.
In high school, my first boyfriend was abusive, emotionally, verbally, and sexually. After having a mental break down and being sent to a mental hospital, my parents made us break up. They knew the relationship was toxic and harmful, but I was trauma bonded, in denial and completely in love. It took me months after no contact to realize he had been sexually abusing and assaulting me.
Senior year of high school, I started dating somebody new. We continued to date after graduation, but he sexually assaulted me that summer, and when I tried to talk to him about, he blamed me for it. His mom even told him “boys will be boys”, so I left him.
Sophomore year in college, I was still convinced that men were evil and would just hurt me. My therapist would tell me that good men do exist, but I didn’t believe her until an old flame rekindled. We starting dating, and we were in a relationship for a year and a half. He was apart of the first and only healthy relationship I’ve ever been, but things in October. Heartbroken and devastated, I joined a dating app to make me feel better and try to move on. I met this guy who wanted to buy me drinks and hook up with me, and I thought that would help me move on. The first time we hooked up, was fine. The second time we hooked up and everything was fine until I was done and he wasn’t... I was raped. It wasn’t violent, but it still violated my body.
So here is a reminder to survivors that it’s never the victims fault, boys will not be boys, they will be held accountable for their own actions, and consent has to be asked for, it’s not just a “given”. If a person doesn’t say yes, it means no.
I just want to say that survivors, despite what happened to us, or how many times we have been violated, it doesn’t make us any less worthy or any more weak. We are survivors and we are strong.